father.

I see my father in me. That's what scares me the most about my future...

weight loss...

down to 154. 14 more to lose. so much juicing..

getting closer.

I have truly come to see the true colors of people that are called my so called "friends". it's sucks in some way but not gonna let it weigh me down and just move on. in some way, its my fault for letting myself to be surrounded by them. need to focus on pharmacy. got the research lab job and vice-president position of pre-pharm society with some genuine help. things are moving fast.

changes...

so many changes this year has brought... though i've grown distant from a friend, i get surprisingly that much closer to another. it happens. can't keep on wondering what tmrw will bring. feeling optimistic and joyful.

friends no more

friends, even best friends, can come and go.

trust....

no one. all you have is yourself.

crazy start to 2011...

Wow this year has thrown me too many surprises. I dont know where to start.... I dont know what else is next to come. hmm lets start with my one my good friends, since beginning years of high school, coming out of the closet. I never thought I react the way I would in this situation. I was pretty much in denial for a while, thought he was joking. Afterwards, when I realized that he was really serious, it just threw me off. I mean wow! really? It made think of the all times we hung out and such. ughhhh took me awhile just to realize that he was still the same to me. Still, I never thought I'd react that. Sure, I've had a few friends come out, wasn't surprised, but this time was wayy different. We good now though.

I've always heard of arranged marriages and set-up is vietnamese families, back in vietnam and such. I laughed bout it and thought how different the culture is now here in the US. So one day, as me and my family were waiting in line for dim sum, we went over to dollar tree to get small stuff for going back to school. Never go here. While I was just waiting, my mom comes over to me giggling like a little girl, tells me to go greet this lady who used to go to her store and how she has a daughter that goes to osu and that her daughter was noticing me. My mom pulls my arm up to meet her... The whole time I was just thinking, WTF is this really going on?! Damn this isnt happening right now. I greet the mom and she kept on talking bout her daughter. When I shook her hand, I think I was looking down in shock... Most awkward thing ever! How can my mom do this to me, I was thinking. Just Wow! I laugh bout it now. She still even had the nerve to ask me if that girl could live with me in corvallis. She kept babbling about marriage and such. Man, couldn't believe she really tried that card on me...

2011... what else is in store this year.

temptations...

So tonight I went out with an old friend from high school. Got food at montage and watched Love and Other Drugs (Alotta sex scenes in this movie).We've always had this kinda chemistry. I cant really explain what it is. Sometimes I get this subtle vibe from her at times when we hang out, which is rarely ever. Like I said before, I havent really gone for anyone in awhile... I think I can interpret signs well enough to know when someone likes you. I find myself in situations where I could've made some sort of move, but I dont. Damn... I am a lil wuss. Anyone but her...

coming back...

Damn, its been awhile since I've wrote on this. I dunno where to start. The term is going by really fast. I feel like theres been alotta drinking... haha since I am legal to drink now. Kinda for everyone to turn 21 already so I can enjoy it more. Going out around portland is pretty chill. Corvallis is kinda ehhh yeahh... I should've applied to pharmacy school this year.. just too lazy. I think I had a pretty good chance too. Ehh oh well theres next year. I really dont wanna go anywhere else besides OSU for pharmacy unless I have to. It'd kinda be tight to live in Cali or Nevada.

What else is there to talk bout.. hmmm not much going on. ohh yeah I've been thinking. I think it's about to have a girlfriend. Feels like forever since I've been with a girl... Ever since college started, I didnt wanna commit. Just being a "friend" and getting stuck in that zone. Not for me anymore. I hope I'm more mature than I was in high school. I didnt even know what I want though. I don't even believe that there is a perfect person out there for every one. It's just the one you end up with.. haha. Pretty simple minded but yeah, its whatever. We'll see what happens. Who knows? I can even end with a guy... haha fuck that! Gonna start going for it now. Not gonna make the same mistakes as before. Hopefully.

no more school for the year!

Whew it feels hella good to be done. NO more stressing bout finals! It's like a breath of fresh air. Now I'll be at home playing this new laptop. It was about time for change; had that vaio for almost two years now. I needed something smaller.. But yeah for my last final, ochem, I thought the final was seriously at 6. Around 530, cousin comes home to see me studying... asks why im still studying ochem, I said that I had a test 6. She tells me the test was at 4... FML! I never ran so hard in my life. Fukcin adrenaline rush right there. Professor almost didn't let me take the test... I wasn't planning on taken ochem again, that would have seriously sucked.. well doesn't matter, I aced it lol I did better than I did in stats but i dunno bout theatre arts.. watever, its all over.. for now.

Man, christmas is coming up and I haven't done any sort of christmas shopping watsoever... need to get on that. I never know what ppl want. hmm secret santa again this year with the osu kids. Alotta ppl in this year i barely even know.. which i dont really like but watever. It's not gonna be as close... sigh. Ppl made alotta new friends this year, but I stay close to the ones I have. Time to hang out with friends before we all go back to school.. lame. It can only last for so long. Hopefully no snow like last year.. All I did was watch korean movies and dramas.. nohomo. Very depressing winter break last year. I might actually get to the the mountain this year. sweet.